Naruto does what he can
by dark itachi lover
Summary: Naruto tries to help sai become more socially ept, however things go awry after getting a lacy gift from sai, and sasuke's unexpected return throws a spanner in the works! What's oblivious Naruto to do with his 2 frustrated friends?
1. Chapter 1

sai naru- sass naru.

Naruto tries to help sai become more socially acceptable, but things start to take a turn in another direction, starting with an obscure gift from sai. something very orange. and rather lacy. then sasuke returns unexpectedly, and he's not taking to kindly to the attention his Dobes giving to his replacement.

…...

Naruto knew it was stupid. He wasn't new to such ideas. Stupid that is, not ideas of….. this… kind.

And he was all too willing to blame every thing on Sai. Seeing as it was Sai's fault. Entirely. No way was Naruto responsible.

It had started as most conversations with Sai did. If you could call them that. Sai had been telling Naruto about some of the things he had learnt from the book kakashi had given him. For Sai to learn how to interact with others better that was. And seeing as it worked most the time, Naruto just didn't have it in him to tell Sai it was a dating guide in how to get women…not friends.

"Dickless, I thought you might like this" and Sai thrust a bag in Naruto's direction without so much a hint of emotion on his face.

There had been many things that Sai thought Naruto would like…. like that painted scroll…. while the thought was nice, the animal coming out of the scroll and destroying his apartment was not.

With quiet a show of hesitation, Naruto accepted the bag

"uhhhhh, thanks Sai" while mentally screaming 'Don't freak out, don't freak out, it cant possibly be that bad!' then images flashed through his mind. 'oh god'…It could be anything… from obscure sex objects to a dead animal… Naruto really prayed it was something far from his imaginings.

"hahahahhaha…" Naruto's strained laugh died as his trembling hands took a hold of the top of the bag. He flipped it open. And froze.

It wasn't dead. It wasn't sex related…to the best of his knowledge. Naruto looked up at Sai.

"Sai… i… thankyou…? "

"I read that presents conveyed a show of a bond, and that something one likes is the best"

Although Sai hadn't moved an inch, though Naruto could tell he was more relaxed now that Naruto had accepted the gift.

There was no way he could turn it down. Sai was trying, and if Naruto had to suck it up, he would.

"I noticed you always wear that mesh shirt and thought you'd like another one."

Naruto felt his heart sink. This wasn't mesh. Hell was it even a shirt? The closest thing he had seen to it was what the women in those magazines wore. Those skimpy, lacy things.

And that somehow led him here. in the training field he and sai regularly used. Wearing the damned orange lace shirt Sai had graciously given him. Naruto could only hope that Sai didn't feel the urge to show off the wonderful gift to their other friends. Naruto thought he just might have to kill Sai at that point. Helping a friend or not.

Naruto self consciously tugged at the hem, not that it helped much. The shirt was completely see through. Maybe if he was lucky the shirt would get shredded during training. And Naruto felt a spark of hope. That was it. Just kill the shirt beyond repair! yosh! When Naruto made up his mind, nothing would stop him.

And so he tried everything he could, badly deflecting weapons in the hope it'd tear the shirt, rolling on the ground, brushing against trees, close range attacks, taijutsu. Naruto was going crazy. it was like sai was aiming everywhere, but, the shirt. watt the hell. and when Naruto tried to roll or brush against anything, Sai would be just there. ready. like he knew. growing frustrated at the lack of shirt damage Naruto just attacked blindly, damn this stupid shirt!

And thus, Naruto found himself, surprisingly on the ground for the first time. However before he could begin a happy mental dance at the chance to destroy this humiliating shirt, sai was above him. not standing. straddling.

'uhhhh…. Sai?" Naruto shifted uneasily under Sai's weight. Which made Naruto all too aware of the position they were in. it reminded Naruto of a time he and Sasuke and gotten a little…. friendly during training.

"you look so cute, that i want to…" As if in slow motion Sai lowered his head to Naruto's neck and laid a soft kiss just below his jaw, then began to suck softly. stiffling a gasp, Naruto was unsure what he should do. Push sai away? encourage him? However no matter how much as his mind was telling him to end this, Naruto's body was not.

"Sai… Sai stop" Naruto tried to sound convincing, but sai's touches felt so good.

Though when Sai's hands started to wander, Naruto's resolve kicked in. "sai!" Naruto pushed sai off of him.

They both just lay there for a moment, sai unsure of what to do, no books had covered this kind of situation. And Naruto, willing his heart to stop beating so damned fast, this ment nothing, sai didn't understand what he was doing, it would be unfair to get angry. It was his goal to help sai understand how to function as a normal person! And he would do it! tebayo!

"ano ne sai… about….be-" (huh sai…)

"Naruto!" Sakura called racing towards the duo. Both Sai and Naruto looked up.

"Sasuke, sasuke's back!" Sakura finally reached them, tears pouring down her face.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered… he couldn't believe it. after all these years.

"Come on Naruto, he's with Tsunade." she offered a hand to the still sitting Naruto, who absentmindedly took it and stood.

"Sasuke…." He whispered, looking up at Sakura it was just so surreal.

...

love sais awkward moments :)


	2. chapter 2

i don't own the naruto characters. i just bend them to my will :) this is boy x boy. meaning two boys getting hot and heavy. if you don't like that, don't read.

Naruto and Sakura made their way hastily to Hokage tower, the thought of their rouge team mate spurring them on. Sai on the other hand followed behind them, not really caring about Sasuke, however he did care where Naruto went.

He was silently cursing Sakura for interrupting. Sai felt, that he was getting somewhere. He was experiencing new things all the time with Naruto, and he found himself enjoying it. More than anything he could ever remember.

Even if things got confusing, Naruto didn't berate him. He explained it… and Sai felt his heart pound when Naruto was so close, so… warm to him.

These feelings, making sai want to have Naruto's attention, just kept building and sai didn't want to fight it.

The three soon made it to homage tower not bothering with formalities and pushed the door open.

"sasuke" Naruto breathed before jumping on the other male, hugging him for all he was worth.

Sasuke on the other hand just stood there, cool eyes observing the moron around his middle. And to every ones surprise, he laid a hand on Naruto's head in stead of pushing him away.

"You can let go moron." He said cooly though there was some affection behind it.

"Sasuke, are you home for good?" Sakura asked hesitantly, she didn't want to do anything that might make sasuke leave again. She wouldn't be able to bear it.

"hn."

Sakura sighed. Seemed sasuke hadn't changed all that much since their genin days.

Sai kept his eyes on the traitor, and Naruto who was still stuck to the avengers side. As irritating as it was to see, sai wasn't sure how to respond.

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose, she needed sake to put up with these brats. "uchiha has come back to the village, after managing to kill Orochimaru. Geeze is it so hard to say?" she said glaring at the young Uchiha who seemed unaffected.

"You killed orochimaru?" Naruto pulled back (finally) he seemed shocked.

"Jealous dickless?"

Sai asked wanting to be apart of the conversation. Naruto had told him that instead of standing back and watching others converse he should throw in his 2 cents. And after some coin throwing Naruto further explained it meant words, not real money. How utterly confusing.

Naruto's attention turned to sai, his face going red. He really wanted to scream, he wasn't dickies dammit! But that would be counter productive. In time sai would drop the name. Yes… in time. Naruto sighed, if only that time were now.

"Sai you know how powerful orochimaru was. I'm just surprised to hear he's dead, finally." Naruto calmly explained.

Sakura was used to this kind of reaction, seeing as Naruto had initiated the 'help sai' plan a few weeks before. However sasuke seemed to be thrown for a loop. Naruto sounded so different, mature and calm.

Sasuke took a moment to really look at Naruto. Sure he had grown, still wearing obscene amounts of orange… and a hickey. His brain froze. His dobe had a hickey.

What the hell! No one touched his dobe except for him!

Uchihas do-not _share_!

"Brat you're in the way of an official investigation. You can chat to the Uchiha after his name is cleared."

"Fine…" Naruto grudgingly stepped towards the door "you better not take too long granny!" then bolted before the chair Tsunade had thrown could make contact with his body.

Sai silently followed Naruto while Sakura shook her head mumbling about idiots that never learn.

Sakura bid Sai and Naruto goodbye to get back to the hospital seeing as she had left while on duty.

"Come let me know when they let Sasuke out, Naruto" Sakura called over her shoulder as she disappeared in to the throngs of people on the road.

Naruto sighed squatting on the ground before the homage tower. Sai looked down at him. Naruto seems to have forgotten about their sparring session, now with sasuke so close. Sai wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he did know that he didn't want to wait around for the uchiha when he could be sparring with Naruto.

"Naruto, leave a bunshin here so we can continue our spar."

Naruto looked up for a moment and dazedly made the hand signs to create the bunshin. it was like second nature to him now. He hardly took any notice before waking towards the training grounds.

Once they reached the training grounds Naruto remembered the scene before Sakura had arrived. Sai on top of him, kissing his neck…. Naruto felt his face heat at the memories. It had been far too long since he had been physical with anyone. And the sensations sai brought had been so demandingly hot Naruto had to fight with himself to stop it.

Brushing a hand over his face, half in an attempt to calm himself and half to hide from sai.

"sai, about before…"

Forcing his hand down so that he could talk to sai, Naruto looked into Sai's eyes. They betrayed no emotion, and for once Naruto wished he had someone to guide him through this. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have. But this was for sai, and he couldn't be a baby now.

"what happened…. it shouldn't happen sai"

There he had said it. It may have come out rushed, but he had said it. Naruto felt his face burn with humiliation at what he was saying.

Before he could register what had happened sai had a hand under Naruto's chin and planted a firm kiss to his lips.

Well, he hadn't expected that to happen. Naruto stood there for a few seconds.

Sai had kissed him. On the mouth. Well, that could have gone better Naruto thought to himself.

"Sai-" Naruto tried again, only to be lost as Sai's lips pressed down again. Sai put a hand in Naruto's hair pulling him closer. His other hand trailing down Naruto's side, pulling his hips against Sai's own. Naruto tried to fight, but the sensations were so hot, so full filling he somehow lost his rational side and found himself pushing against Sai, wanting more.

They both had hands on the other, pressing harder, kissing deeper. Until a hand pulled Naruto roughly from Sai's greedy hands.

The image of one mightily pissed off uchiha quickly sorbed Naruto, his lust extinguished almost immediately.

"Sa-Sasuke… hahaha…umm you done already?" Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head with his free hand. Sai stood there motionless as always. damn his composure!

Naruto thought it was a good guess to say that sasuke was very annoyed at the moment. Given that he was almost crushing Naruto's arm in a death grip.

It was just his luck that sasuke was an extremely possessive bastard. Who hated Sai.

…and that Sai was completely hopeless.

Naruto just wished to live to see tomorrow. But then with the current company it wasn't looking very likely at all.

thought i should update already :)


	3. Chapter 3

i don't own the naruto characters. i just bend them to my will :) this is boy x boy. meaning two boys getting hot and heavy. if you don't like that, don't read.

It was just his luck that sasuke was an extremely possessive bastard. Who hated Sai.

…and that Sai was completely hopeless.

Naruto just wished to live to see tomorrow. But then with the current company it wasn't looking very likely at all.

**chapter 3**

Naruto flopped on to his bed heavily. He had dreamt of the occasion on retrieving Sasuke. none had included Sakura telling him while he was being molested by Sai. he wasn't even sure what had happened was real. Then again… Sasuke was still a bastard, and sai was still astoundingly thick… it didn't seem like a dream. Then why! Why had things taken a turn fro normal to ' lets see how far we can push reality'!.

After sasuke had found him being… uh..incapacitated by sai, he had literally gone in for the kill. Sai had evaded easily as sasuke had chakra restraints on, but sai had still put a fair distance between them.

Naruto being the mediator, had thought he could pacify the uchiha. though it was then that the uchiha had spat at how 'low Naruto was to go round sleeping with his replacement', and to even 'dress like a whore'. Naruto was pretty dang pissed from the first statement. He was not sleeping with sai! but before he could begin screaming this in to the uchiha's ear, he realised, he was still wearing the lace shirt had given him. Sakura had seen it. The tower guards had seen it….Tsunade had seen it… everyone had seen it!

Sai. was DEAD!

It really was just one thing after another lately.

**its good for the soul**

When sasuke had found his dobe and the annoying replacement, he had one thought.

Kill.

It was simple really, kill his replacement then make the dobe hurt for being such a dobe.

Great plan.

However, just as Naruto was about to explode with anger at being called a bunch of things sasuke deemed (hurtfully) true, Naruto seemed to go into shock.

He froze.

Looked down.

Pulled on his strange lacy garment.

Looked up.

And proceeded to beat the living hell out of his replacement.

Well, if that wasn't the most confusing thing he had seen in a while. Then again, no one should try understanding the mind of a dobe. Could be harmful.

So Sasuke deemed his work here done. His replacement was practically dead, Naruto…. Was… repenting? And Sasuke could go have a bath with plenty of time to spare to incinerate what ever was left of his replacement.

Sasuke had been thinking of having a bath all week, and finally he could relax. It usually wasn't wise to be in in a public hot spring while being a missing nin. too many close shaves, literally.

**glory to the buttons**

Naruto gripped Sai's half shirt in a death grip. The shirt rage (fight) had been rather prolonged as Sai had managed to evade half of the hits. But even so, Naruto deemed Sai punished enough for his humiliation. And so he let Sai go, standing up and stretching.

The humiliation had worn off, as it wasn't like Naruto could undo everyone seeing him in the shirt from hell. hopefully no one had really even noticed.

"jya na, sai" Naruto said cheerfully, walking home after a long and stressful day.

It wasn't in his nature to cling to such emotions, nothing would come of it so Naruto would just laugh it off. Like if neji brings it up while on guard duty tonight…

So Naruto went to sasuke's house to bug his newly returned friend. Again in the orange lace shirt.

**again it happens.**

Naruto in his haste (and in his opinion, great skills) forwent sasuke's door in favour of the second story window. This may not have been such a bad thing if it weren't for the placement of the window. Being directly across from the bathroom door. Which just so happened to reveal one very naked, very wet and suddenly very pissed (off) sasuke uchiha.

In the one or two-seconds it took for sasuke's rage to escalate in to physical attacks, Naruto wondered how sasuke looked so thin yet so muscular. Huh, the mysteries of life. With Narutos mind occupied on life mysteries sasuke had an easy target to take his frustrations out on.

Naruto wondered home shortly after thinking maybe he should have visited sasuke tomorrow. But damn sasuke was thin! No wonder he always wore baggy clothes. slowly limping step by step Narutos mind was solely occupied with sasuke and his absurd thinness.

**blink 1. 2 .3**

Neji was at the guard post approximately 35 seconds before his shift was to start. He stood there as the others waved their quick goodbyes and were off, leaving neji to himself.

It wasn't rare for Naruto to be late, in fact it was the norm. so in about 10 minutes Naruto would come rushing and shouting some nonsense about what ever had happened to him recently.

Neji found it comforting yet annoying how Naruto would just ramble on. Once he talked 2 whole hours about getting his zipper caught on his shirt. His zipper…. Neji now got shivers whenever he saw zippers. It was just his luck that they always teamed Naruto with him.

Neji just blessed his 10 minutes of silence while fuming at Naruto's audacity to neglect his duties.

….

Naruto was beyond sleep, he was in ramen land. It was such a deep sleep that only Naruto could achieve. Therefore, there were no ninja, nor normal sense to rouse in time for his shift with Neji. No, he slept on in ramen land unbeknownst that he would soon be facing a scarier opponent than sai with his grabbing hands and a cold angry sasuke.

But when was it ever any different for poor Naruto.

**tsuzuku….**

well i was gunna make this chap wayyyyyy longer but work sucks up a lot of time :/ so i'll just post it as is for those lovely readers who have waited along time for the next part.


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